08/02/2025 - Ciaooooo amigo onto the next adventure.

Hello readers,

I don’t want to get up again. But I still do. I feel so drained energetically. Maybe I’m PMSing, but it’s been a long time since I’ve felt this level of no-motivation. Nothing here makes me want to do anything. I just want to go back to the sun, the warmth, the ocean, fresh fruits, and an easy life. Yesterday, I overate to compensate, then had a bad night. I feel sorry for dumping right now, but I need to be honest and write without filters to feel better.

Nothing excites me here. I’m radical, for sure. My friends do bring me joy, but honestly, I’d rather teleport somewhere else with them lol. I don’t want to be up in the mountains. I don’t want to hang out in town. I don’t want to socialize, don’t want to fake being content. So I just want to stay in bed and be left alone.

What a little spoiled bitch! The frustration is real. I know that, actually. In my Human Design chart, I’m a Generator, and when I’m aligned, it manifests as satisfaction with life. When I’m misaligned, it manifests as frustration. And let me tell you, frustration is real right now. I’m considering leaving earlier. Nothing is really stopping me from doing so.

I could get everything done in 2-3 days if I’m effective: going to the commune, canceling my insurance, packing my stuff, selling some things, giving away the rest, having a big day with the people I love here, and then ciaooooo amigo onto the next adventure. Yes. I can do this for sure. No one is ordering me to stay longer except the plans I made a month ago. But plans can change.

Just by acknowledging this, I feel a surge of energy in my body, a silent confirmation that this decision is aligned. But now that I’ve made it real, I feel fear creeping in. Do I go straight to Amsterdam? Do I go somewhere else first? Will I have time to enjoy my friends before I leave? Will I regret this decision? Am I being dramatic?

Yes, I am. We’re talking about 10 more days in an incredible place that I will definitely miss from time to time. But right now, I feel trapped. It’s too small. Too cold. Too narrow-minded. I want to breathe. I want the horizon. I want expansion. I am in a moment of momentum in my life. I am inspired. I am putting in the effort and doing the work to create the reality I want for myself.

And staying here? I can already feel the stagnation creeping in. The slow pull back to what I have already outgrown. My vibration slowing down. And I know that closing chapters completely is important. I want to leave satisfied, not feeling like I ran away from my emotions again. But for some people, this will feel abrupt and disruptive. For me, it feels invigorating. Because I process things quickly. I make things happen for myself even quicker.

So… time to start my to-do list, get things sorted, and move. A new life awaits. How freaking exciting. I may go to California sooner than expected and arrive in Amsterdam earlier too. Or I might take two weeks for myself, enjoy, and then go to California. Food for thought today. I’ll let my intuition guide me where I need to be.

I live for this. For the unpredictable in the predictable. For sudden changes that bring excitement. For the rush of starting anew. For the pleasure of becoming myself so assertively. For crushing fears that try to stop me from creating a crazy reality. I am becoming the main character of my own story. And I already love this next chapter ahead.

***OK, BIG UPDATE! Right after posting this article, I checked my astrocartography; the map of planetary influences at my birth. I wanted to see if the cities calling my name recently had any harmonious planetary alignments. I started with Amsterdam, of course. And what do I see? It's right under the line of Chiron trining my Ascendant.

This means Amsterdam is a place of natural healing, self-acceptance, and wisdom, a space where I can integrate past wounds without struggle and express my true self with confidence.

And then it gets wilder. I check Venice, the second city that has been pulling me in lately. Same Chiron trine Ascendant line. These two places are intertwined in my chart.

But the craziest part? I was casually wondering what Venice looks like at the end of February. Not the most idyllic time to visit, right? How wrong was I. It’s Carnival season. February 22nd to March 4th. Themed "In the Time of Casanova." Masked balls. Parades. Mystery. Ancient history. Whimsical artistic expression. A dream I didn’t even know was unfolding perfectly in front of me. I’m sold!!!

With love, Loune.