12/10/2025 - Keeping things idealized feels safer than risking reality.

Okay, guys, big update.

Today was completely different. I’m honestly exhausted right now, and it’s taking all my motivation to sit and write because I’d rather just enjoy the evening with my new friends. But you don’t know them yet, so let’s rewind to this morning.

I had a rough night, waking up around 3am. and struggling to fall back asleep. Still, I made it out of the albergue by eight. I found a café, ordered a toast with tomato, avocado, and scrambled eggs, and a latte while calling my dad. It has become such a comforting part of my Camino mornings that I know I’ll miss it deeply when it’s over.

I thought it would be an easy day, around twenty kilometers, but even the idea of four hours of walking felt heavy at first. My body resisted the start. Two hours later, I stopped at a café along the road and saw the german guy once more, sitting on the terrace. Even though yesterday I had told myself I was done thinking about him, part of me had secretly hoped I’d see him again, and there he was.

I asked if I could join him, and soon after, a big group of pilgrims appeared. Then another. Within fifteen minutes, there were twenty of us, laughing, talking, sharing tables. I felt a bit overwhelmed at first; it’s been a while since I’ve been surrounded by so many people my age. Everyone seemed to know each other already, and I stood on the edge for a moment, observing.

But he introduced me to everyone, gentle and kind. He kept the conversation flowing, asked me questions, smiled often. The more we talked, the more at ease I felt. It’s funny how quickly I can become shy around someone I find attractive, like I lose my ease. And even funnier how I tend to look for reasons not to get involved, as if keeping things idealized feels safer than risking reality.

Yesterday, I told myself that maybe I just didn’t feel the vibe. But today, while walking, I decided to stay open. I’ve learned that real attraction can grow through honesty, through presence, through letting someone reveal themselves slowly. So I gave him that chance.

We ended up talking all afternoon about Berlin, therapy, childhood fears, animals, exes, love, everything in between. It felt easy and natural. Sometimes our conversations drifted into silence, and that felt comfortable too. I noticed his green eyes when he looked at me, the way he smiled with them more than with his mouth.

Even when we were surrounded by people, we kept orbiting each other, finding small ways to stay connected. We teased each other, shared a few beers, stopped at a couple of bars along the way. I started getting to know others in the group too, people from the UK, Germany, Australia, and the U.S. I was the only French one. Some were warmer than others, and I noticed a few glances from girls who also had their eyes on him. But honestly, I didn’t care. He kept coming back to me, and that was enough to know where his attention was.

We arrived at the albergue late, around four in the afternoon, and I was completely drained. The fatigue of the last five weeks caught up to me all at once. My throat was sore, my body dehydrated, my mind spinning from the social whirlwind. Still, I showered, got dressed again, and went out with everyone to eat at a Mexican restaurant.

We sat at a long table, and I ended up next to two amazing girls, Kathy and Teddy. We talked for an hour, and with Teddy, I got into this deep conversation about Nepal and Tibet. She’s going on a retreat there in November, and it stirred something inside me, a childhood fascination, maybe even a calling. I could almost feel the pull of those mountains as she spoke. Maybe next year it’ll be my turn.

Halfway through dinner, my head started to pound, so when the meal ended, I decided to head back while the others went for ice cream and beer. I came back to the albergue, crawled into bed, and opened my computer because I still had some work to finish for tomorrow’s meeting. Not exactly the timing I would have wished for, since I’ll be arriving in Santiago and would love to just rest, but it’s fair. I need to assume my responsibilities until the very end.

So I’ll leave it here for tonight. I’m tired, but my heart is full. And guys!!! TOMORROW I’M FINISHING THE CAMINO!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HECK?!?!?! It’s crazy, I’m so proud of me!

With love, Loune.