13/12/2024 - Curiosity may be my biggest turn-ons.

Hello readers,

I've started writing a different article for the third time today because... well, I guess I don't want to write about what is really going on in my mind. But I want to remain true here. The past few weeks have been intense, as you read in my last article. Mercury retrograde is always a period of shifts and changes. The planet of the mind is slowing down, the gut is now in control. Challenging but always interesting.

I've been seeing someone for the last week. And it's the first time that I actually allow a friendship to transform into romance. I was a firm believer of love at first sight, jumping directly into the romance with the expectation that friendship would come along. But oh god, I realize now that I am NOT this person.

I cannot be friends with everyone. And therefore with every men that I fancy physically. Because friendship is a bond I value above all else. It is at the root of all my favorite partnerships. I am friends with my dad, my sister, the women close to my soul, the men I choose to invite in my world. Being friends require complete acceptance, support and inspiration. It is a choice.

Friendship with men is something I deeply enjoy, as it requires a level of nuance that demands depth of characters. These nuances stem from an unspoken mutual understanding of the complex emotions that can arise. For men, this may include navigating feelings of frustration or even lust, while for women, it might involve balancing vulnerability with maintaining boundaries. And I accept if a man doesn't value a connection with me unless it's sexual, not everyone can.

Going back to the man I've been hanging out with recently, we've built a friendship for the past three months. Which include spending time with each other in different settings. Having a drink and being crazy, playing boardgames while smoking a spliff, going to the gym and motivating each other, but also giving each other back massages while having deep conversations.

And the last one is unusual for me. Because the sexual attraction was present since the beginning but I decided to develop our bond instead of indulging in the sensual experience. Which was a change, since I am not someone who compromises easily regarding sensorial pleasures. If I desire, I need, now. I'm going to write on this because it highlights many different areas of my life: Sex, food, possessions, emotions.

The reason I "friend-zoned" him at first is I actually found him interesting. He showed depth through polarities, communication skills, emotional understanding. Qualities that I admire and respect. Found in all my friendships which naturally led me to categorize him as such. The only difference is that I allowed myself a part of uncertainty.

Tainted by physical touch, casual flirt or projection into the what-ifs of our situation, he sparked a curiosity within me that caught me off guard. And curiosity may be my biggest turn-ons. A friend that wasn't my exact physical type but whom presence nourished my soul which attracted me in a different way.

In conclusion, I feel seen, and heard, and appreciated for everything that I am with him. Interest on his part for my mind, my heart, my passions and perception of life. And wow... I can linger in this essence for a moment. The openness of our discussions, the uncertainty of our connection, found in the raw honesty we receive from each other. That's what humans are made for.

And the rest is still unfolding. I don't want to share on this part though, it's my private garden for now. But I enjoy the in-between. Until the next chapter, I’m reminded that life is rich with diverse experiences when I allow myself to step out of my comfort zone, even in something as natural and essential as romantic connections.

With love, Loune.